I’m K, I’m 30 and I live in Manchester. I’ve decided to start this blog as a way of venting and also as a why to direct my sometimes scattered thoughts about my journey to being a mum. I’m not going to do the whole back story to where I am in this post because it’s a long story and I’m trying to look forward! If no one reads this but me then that’s fine, but if my story can be there for others then that’s also fine! I’m naturally pretty sarcastic, so I thought this picture accurately summed up my year!


But in a nutshell…I’ve been diagnosed with Endometriosis for over 4 years and was told in July that I won’t be able to have children – and I have to say that it really sucks! Since then, I’ve had one doctor tell me there’s a possibility that I could have IVF in the future, but to be honest after grieving for my fertility for the last 5 months I’m not going to go down that route. The gynae in July told me that there was nothing that could be done surgically and that staying in a chemical menopause was my only option until being old enough for a hysterectomy… That also sucked big time. I have had a second opinion who disagrees and so surgery to unstick bits of me is what I’m aiming for at the moment.

I went to see my wonderful GP today – I’ve been taking what can only be described as a lot of Pregabalin for the last 18 months and I’ve gained about 3 and a half stone on it. I am the biggest I’ve ever been and I am sick of it. So goodbye Pregab, hello Gabapentin. The GP did say that the next few days could be “rocky” as I could end up withdrawing from Pregab – it did make me feel slightly like a junkie! Apparently it’s something that is rife in prisons… I can’t quite get my head around why people would want all of the side effects of Pregab, it’s a bastard of a drug. I’m hoping that Gabapentin will help me lose weight, Mr P won’t do surgery until I’ve lost weight. So Friday will be Day 0 in terms of weight loss. I’m calling it Operation Lose Weight for an Operation! I’m going to have Friday as weigh in days, and yes that includes over Christmas!!

It got me thinking about how much I’ve been relying on meds to function, without them I’m bloody useless! I think I’m single handedly keeping my pharmacist in business at the moment. Thank goodness for NHS Pre-Payment cards!

So I’ve addressed why I’m infertile… My journey to motherhood is going to take some work; my hubby and I want to adopt in 3 years time. I’ll have finished my degree and my first year of teaching and we’ll have no mortgage left. We’ll financially be secure and will be able to offer children a happy home; 3 year feels like such a long way away at the moment though. That’s another reason for me working hard to lose weight, adoption peeps like BMIs to be under 40 and at the moment mine isn’t. But it will be.



2 thoughts on “14/12/16

  1. I know what you’re going through. I too am 30 and married. I do not have endometriosis, but I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). While in recent times, I’ve heard of couples getting pregnant, despite the diagnosis, I’ve yet to get pregnant and we’ve been trying for 2 years. It’s rough. I’ve decided to focus on my health in hopes that maybe something will change. Not only will I be fit and healthy, perhaps I’ll be pregnant one day :-). I’m rooting for you.


    1. Thank you. I’ve come to the conclusion that adoption is our route to parenthood because I couldn’t put myself through trying after being told I’m infertile and it not happening. I have found the roughest days to be the ones where friends who’ve got several children moan about having children. I wish I could moan about having children! I’m rooting for you too! xx

      Liked by 1 person

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